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Warning: This Podcast contains explicit language.
October 04, 2019 27 min read
In this episode, we sit down with Gary Vaynerchuk who is an entrepreneur, speaker, author, internet personality, and father of 2.
CEO of Vayner Media a $200million dollar company with apx. 1000 employee world wide. He is also known to have transformed his family wine business from a $3 million dollar company to a $60 million dollar empire within a few years.
Gary tells Beav and Alex about his childhood, not knowing much about his father until age 14, and drops an atomic bomb regarding stay-at-home-dads.
All of this and a ton of great conversation and stories on this week's episode of the Tactical Baby Gear® Podcast.
Beav: Hey, what's up everybody? Welcome back to the Tactical Baby Gear podcast. In this episode we have with us the one and only Gary Vaynerchuk, Gary V. I'll give you a quick story on Gary and then we'll get into it. He's an immigrant, came here at three, four years old with his family and came up with nothing and worked his way into his family liquor store business. Eventually went on to leave that and start a company called VaynerMedia, which is now VaynerX, which is a holding company with lots of other things going on. They do hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue, with over a thousand employees roughly, around the world. He's somebody that I admire to the top, as a pure bred entrepreneur myself. So we're excited to have Gary on, but he's on in this context with Tactical Baby Gear® because he attributes so much of his success to parenting and the way he was parented.
So that's what we want to hear more about. We want to try to bring some knowledge to all of you new parents, raising your kids and some of the things that he's seen, which align with a lot of the way I was parented. And there's an unbelievable amount of synergy in that world, so we're excited to have you. So thank you.
Gary V: I appreciate that. And for everybody listening, knowing a lot of you don't know me, I think the focus group of one is extremely dangerous. I think the reason I've gotten more passionate about sharing my thoughts, and by the way one man's point of view, like anybody else's, is not only do I think that I was "perfectly parented," which is a working title of a book I want to write, but two, I get fucking 5,000 DMs a month from parents and kids. And so the data now feels scaled to me and there's a lot of schematics that are very tried and true. And I think we're also feeling the ramifications in the anxiousness and depression. People want to blame social media because they don't want to take accountability. I think the last 20 years of parenting should really be debated.
Beav: Right. And you talk about those schematics and there's a billion different things that can be talked about. But there's really those seven to 10 core things that matter the most, that are foundational pieces and the rest are different nuances along the way. And I know that your mom was a huge part of that. So I want to go back to the early days, early Gary, in the way that your mom parented you. Because I know that you were a terrible student in school, as I was, and how she dealt with that. But then how she also supported your strengths and all that kind of stuff.
Gary V: Practical optimism with accountability, with a huge layer of love is how I would document what my parents did and what my mom did because my dad worked every hour and it wasn't until I was 14 that I really kind of walked into his world, working at the liquor store. So my mom dealt with my bad report cards, which started in fourth grade. Up until that point I was an unstoppable student because it was just so basic at that point. But by fourth grade where, A, my mind started to wander in class, which was the real vulnerability because if I listened, even if you look at the report card in high school, which is atrocious, you'll notice that all the classes that are history are like B's and C's compared to my D's and F's because I was interested in history and so I listened and that was enough.
I didn't do the homework so I got a zero. I got B's on tests because I would listen enough. Whereas in science you go into the periodic table-
Beav: Forget about it.
Gary V: I'm in complete baseball card or I was in Beckett or wine spectator mode. Always. I was in class reading the ... I was a nice kid but I was audacious. I would sit in the middle of a class during a curriculum and literally just go into my book bag, take out the Beckett Baseball Card Guide and start memorizing it. And the teacher's like, "Put that away." And I was kind of like, "No." And basically wasn't the bad kid, it was almost like the teacher ... like there was almost this weird relationship between me and my high school teachers, which was, "You think I'm going to be a huge loser, I don't. I'm a nice boy. I don't cause ruckus. I'm not mean, I'm not disrespectful." Because I would say no in the plea.
By the way. I'm a tough guy when I do... When on stage I didn't say no. I said, "Mrs. Stats, please. I got a big show this Friday. I'm going to get an F anyway.". It was charming more than it was rude.
Alex: Is that where your charisma came from?
Gary V: I think I had it and this is it manifesting and my deep dislike of being disliked goes everywhere. So I couldn't have my teacher not like me. So I had to be charming to get away with what I wanted to do. My mom punished me four times a year, eight in high school. Progress supports fucked me up. I had my whole system down and then in middle school they're like, and now we do progress reports and I was like "wait a minute" and I'll never forget this term actually.
You know what D rock, I need this, I need this. I've never said this publicly. In our progress reports there was only three boxes. You've got all your classes, there were three boxes excellent, satisfactory. And then there was one box that said in danger of failing. So I want a "in danger of failing" tee shirt, I want to rock it. It's a really interesting term. And when I tell you every class besides gym and history said in danger of failing. All of them. So now I was getting punished eight times a year because progress reports would come about. Right now. I even feel the anxiousness right now because it's the first week of October and still ingrained in me is like, "Oh this is the shitty week.". And I was also ridiculous. I was intercepting my progress reports and report cards, grabbing them out of the mail, going into my house and flushing them down the toilet.
Like, like got to the point where I would get punished because my mom would kind of like, she would know what time of year it was and and I would be on some, the mailman lost it. My favorite was junior year of high school. I proclaimed that they didn't do progress reports anymore. Like I was all over the place. But she held me accountable. She knew cause she knew that I was going to be just fine.
Beav: Right. It's funny, my parents felt the same way about me so they, it was the same thing. I was like a C and D student. Like I was good enough to get by. They made sure that I was paying attention to doing the right things and I was an extremely nice kid. Like, I'm still nice, but I look a big bad and tough with my tattoos. But yeah, I'm the nicest guy.
Gary V: You're face looks super soft. The tats don't throw me off. You seem super nice.
Beav: Right? But, but they supported all my strengths, anything that I ever went into, I was 110%.
Gary V: Was that from both of them?
Beav: oh yeah.
Gary V: That's cool.
Beav: A hundred and ten percent.
Gary V: Were either one of them entrepreneurs?
Beav: Yes and no. My family, my mom, not so much. She enjoyed what she did and she worked for someone else and that was her thing. She and my dad was more of an entrepreneur, but my mom's side of the family, my grandparents, both big time entrepreneurs and that's where I get that DNA from.
Gary V: Yeah.
Beav: So, but they just supported it. Like they're like, listen, I know that you suck at science, but you're so hard into everything else you do that I have no doubt that you will succeed and whatever.
Gary V: And then my thing on top of all that was my mom was watching me come home with $2,000 as a 13 year old.
It wasn't like I wasn't. It wasn't hard for her to like, but what they did smartly was that at 14 they were like well now you work cause you're not going to some, you're not going to Harvard and becoming a lawyer. Now you have to work. Cause a lot of kids are like Gary V should I drop out of college? And I'm like, if you're willing to eat shit and work your fucking face off for a decade because the machine is not going to accept you. That's the big question. Gary V, should I drop out of college? Should I not go to college? Sure. If you're asking me and you're following my content and you think you're an entrepreneur or you're an enigma from the normalized education system and you don't need a diploma to do what you want to do in life, the answer is sure.
If you equally realize that doesn't mean you fucking hang out in your buddy's apartment laying on the couch playing fucking Fortnite in perpetuity. Yes. If you're willing to eat fucking shit.
Beav: I'm more excited for tech schools than anything else. I went to a tech school, right cause I wanted to have, I came from building custom cars so I went right out of high school into a tech school to get more knowledge about automotive industry. And then I went directly out of that into my own shop.
Gary V: Yeah. I think we eliminated those vocational tech schools, like everybody. They had them back in the day in the 50s and 40s and 60s, we were more practical. We let kids go to like auto body shop and like tech this and tech that and hairdressing. It was practical and then everybody had to go to college because it became a business and that's fine.
So how, how did she do it? Everything I did that was kind and showed my humanity. She gave me a trophy for through her words. That was very, "you're amazing to be so nice to that elderly lady.". "I love how you stick up for the kid that nobody talks to in school.". She would make big to dues. And then when I was still in school, she punished me for bad grades. I don't know what else to tell you.
Gary V: When I went over four in a baseball game, it was my fault. Not the coaches or the sun in my eyes like she didn't make excuses. Excuses are unacceptable in my parents' household. We just, and they had reasons to excuses. They lost parents when they were young kids. They lived in Soviet fucking piece of shit Russia. They fucking came to this country with nothing.
They fucking took one. I took two, two family vacations in my entire childhood. There was plenty to complain. Like they never did anything. They fucking both worked like fucking horses. So they had plenty to complain about and not a peep, which created a system for me to be, it's just inconceivable for me to complain.
Beav: Right. I get it.
Alex: How did your dad's relationship change then when you were 14 you started working? So, how did that dynamic switch?
Gary V: Well, first of even was the beginning of one. I didn't even know him.
Beav: Like you saw him around the house.
Gary V: Bro, I didn't see him around the house.
Gary V: I didn't see my dad.
Beav: So let's give everyone context listening.
Gary V: My dad, we moved here in fucking '78. My dad's starts working a hundred different things. Finally lands as a stock boy and then a manager and then a part owner of a liquor store through the 80s and then until 1989 when I was 14, when I tell you that I have 11 memories of my dad until I'm 14. Eleven core, like 11 memories, not like 11 highlights. I'm talking about actual like is my dad here. Eleven.
Beav: I saw him in the kitchen once.
Gary V: I'm being real serious with you. I remember when I was like eight we were going to have father Sunday. It was like this big thing like when I was nine and what happened was my dad was exhausted, because he worked a hundred hours a week, and what he wants to do is watch TV in his bedroom on something like Telly Savalas, detective shit, and then he put the blinds over. It was dark as fuck, and within 19 minutes he’s sleeping. And I'm in a very sweet way. Like I was cuddling next to him and then I like took his arm off cause he fell asleep, came downstairs and said to my mom, can I go outside and play with Robbie? Cause I don't want to watch Telly Savalas with snoring dad.
And, but it was crazy was I also remember not being disappointed. I didn't, I even at that age from my own father, I don't have expectations even though there's a huge buildup for like a month of father's Sunday and it was I say this story and I can see like there's almost even a undercurrent of sadness in the room and I don't feel that way.
Beav: That was my next question. I didn't know if there was any like resentment or any tension between your mom and your dad.
Gary V: Not only is there no resentment, I would argue there is appreciation. It's very easy for people right now listening who were born into middle class families that paid for their college who are now accountants at JP Morgan to judge my father. We came in with nothing like, do you understand what it feels like to live in a studio apartment with nine family members and not have a dollar to your name and not speak the fucking language?
Life's about circumstances. My dad also had a traveling salesman dad in Russia who died when my dad was 15 like, who? Who showed him how to be a father? So, I don't think we have enough empathy for our parents and, and that's how I feel.
Alex: How has that translated into how you raise your kids?
Gary V: I think in a lot of ways that leads to my strengths and my weaknesses. It probably leads to me being okay with traveling and missing a lot of stuff. It also makes me, with every moment I have, probably tripled down more than the norm. But, we're all byproducts of our parenting to our parenting style. We all lean in the same way. We all lean out the other way. We find balances. I think the biggest way it's affected me is not giving a fuck what anybody thinks about my parenting.
That is probably the thing that I'm most proud of and wished for everybody who's listening. Your factoring in other people's judgment to the way that you're parenting your kid. We are parenting by societal, political correctness, not by what we individually believe for our child. We're parenting by our own insecurities around our own friend network. That's why we're putting bumper stickers on our fucking cars. We want to show everybody your kids good at soccer. For you.
Gary V: For you.
Gary V: So I don't like that.
Gary V: And that's why I'm talking about things that aren't popular.
Beav: Right. What were some of the things that your dad, once you had that relationship with your dad, you end up really getting to know your dad in a business environment, working?
Gary V: He eliminates the bullshit out of my salesmanship. My dad's core, core impact on my life is he turned my bullshit into a gift of gab.
I'm so good with words and energy and I've got all the skills, no different than LeBron and Beyonce and what they do to be able to be the best salesman in the world, which is what I think of myself sometimes, which is ironic cause I don't sell, I build, because [inaudible 00:14:32] it's like, "Oh right, I'm a marketer.". Right? But at the time it was very transactional. I did better at lemonade stands and baseball card shows cause I was a marketer. I didn't realize that. But I know it was also killer in selling.
Beav: Right. It was a balance.
Gary V: I was better at getting you to the table and then I fucking closed. So what is interesting about that is he didn't let me lie and at that point I was willing to lie to make the sale. And God, I'm so grateful for that because I think one of the things that's interesting about me is I understand that people are affected by how one says something over sometimes what they're saying.
Gary V: And I think there's a lot of people out there, because I have a lot of notoriety at this point, that I have a very strong misconception of who I am because I have a lot of energy and bravado and alphaness in my delivery, so they can't even hear what I'm actually saying. They just put me in the bucket of bullshit.
Beav: Yeah, they're judging you.
Gary V: Yeah, and I respect that. Actually. I'm not crippled by that. That actually makes sense to me.
Beav: Do you feel like you have to over-index in other ways? I feel the same way, right? Yeah. I look a certain way. I get judged immediately. I understand that and I respect that, but that means I over-index on being incredibly nice and polite to people.
Gary V: I over-index on the results.
Gary V: I'm just not doing it for the fans. How do I do it? Let's do the sports comp. Me, like do not look like a basketball player. Run run on the court right now. Everybody in Madison square garden right over here like booze, laughs, whatever. Instead of what you're talking about. Me over trying to explain to the crowd before the game starts. Like, let me show you. You'll see. You'll be surprised. I say not a word. I go out and drop double nickels on the other team and then I look at everybody's face and say, "Now what do you think?".
Gary V: That's how I handle my life. I understand the judgment, I understand it all. I then go and execute on the field. And then I ask you, what are we talking about now? Remember, in 1997, when you said that the internet was stupid and I was going to lose because you're going to open up 11 liquor stores and I'm going to have this computer. How do we feel about that today? What? Remember when you left the comment on my Instagram back in 2017 that said, "fake"? Well now it's 2043 and I know you, and I'm like, "yo, how fake was I, dick?". Results.
Gary V: I'm not here trying to convince anyone.
Beav: And you're in it for a long game too.
Gary V: The end. I'm also willing to micro lose.
Beav: Losing. That's a big thing we need to talk about in a minute. The losing is such an important part of kids' childhood. Letting them learn to lose and how that can motivate them and drive them and please show me all these things.
Gary V: And learning to lose is always an important conversation. I'm sorry to interrupt you, because I got pissed because I'm starting to realize people are not listening. Meaning yeah, we're going to let my kid learn to lose and it's like, "Oh Johnny, it's okay. We lost 4-2. It was a good ex....". No, like fucking internalize that shit, like you fucking lost. Cry.
Beav: I had this conversation with my daughter today.
Gary V: Like fucking cry.
Beav: And I made her cry. Right? So we're doing bedtime routines and it's always a challenge between my two daughters who are five and eight of who, who do I start with first at bedtime routines. So they decide they're going to rock, paper, scissors. Well, the older one loses to the little one and she's upset and we need to do it again. "I want to try again.". All this stuff. I'm like, no, no, no, you lost. She gets to go first, et cetera. I said, and we're just coming off of a gymnastics competition that she crushed it in and I said, "Well listen, do you think that the kids that didn't practice as hard as you and didn't do as well as you and gymnastics should have won?". No, you got the first place trophy because you put in the work and you practice.
Gary V: Learn your little sister's tactics of going slightly slower to figure out that you were going with rock and she drew out the fucking paper.
Beav: And those are the conversations that have to be kind of like, "no, you don't get to try it again.".
Gary V: By the way should I share the truth, which is I've been disguising the whole time that the reason I put up five is cause it's my favorite number, but what it actually represents is fucking paper.
Beav: But those are the things that like most, somebody's parents would, would be like, all right, well let's, let's go again. Okay, fine. Best two out of three.
Gary V: You know Caleb, that means "cash" in the hood.
Beav: What that other "secure to the bag"? Is that the most recent?
Gary V: That's like two and a half years ago. But good job.
Gary V: So yeah. So listen.
Beav: But those adversities of losing.
Gary V: The number one reason the parents that are listening now, a lot of dads, are not parenting their children the way they want to because a lot of dads like myself and by the way a lot of moms too. Actually real quick on this show, I'm actually going to drop it. Let me finish my first thought cause I'm cause I, cause it made me think of a thought that I want to share badly.
A lot of dads and a lot of moms are passive because they're trying to appease their partner in their parenting and they're parenting in a way that they actually don't believe in. Right? They're looking for harmony on the parenting level, not instilling in their kids. I believe that there's a lot of people that are not treating winning and losing properly. And I think it is the singular biggest vulnerability to raising a child. Self-esteem building is number one. I believe that everything is solved if you can build your child's self esteem. The problem is everybody turned that into delusion. Self-esteem doesn't come in "faking it". Self-esteem doesn't come in "what happened to that actress who's in jail now who bought her daughter's way into USC?".
Because if you read the transcripts and I saw the quote and I do not know if it's true or not, but it's definitely what I thought, which is having a kid look you in the eye and say "You bought me in because you don't believe I could do it myself?". Hey kid, that's what she's been doing the whole fucking time. Why do you think you were on the varsity lacrosse team? You fucking suck. So by the way, this is why it's a two person race. This can't just be on fucking parents. If you know that your mom is best friends with the fucking coach and that's why you're on the varsity lacrosse team. It's on you 17 year old Nancy, to battle the fuck out. We have to find that balance.
Which gets me to my final point, I believe that the ratio of stay-at-home moms, stay-at-home dads, in America and the world should be 50/50 and I believe it to be 95/5 right now. I believe that we have to change the conversation around success for men because we've done a nice job, long way to go, but we've done a nice job in the last 30 years to not having a cultural stigma around women in the workplace. They still have a stigma. I watch girl-on-girl crime where like they judged the mom for being a work. I hate it, like stop judging, but we're much, much, much further along in the last 30 years of an incredible woman raising her hand and saying, "I'm capable to have a profession and I choose to balance", which is an incredible achievement, "to balance my career and my motherhood."
Look, a human coming out of you is still a different connection than the father. Hundred percent. That's just real. It's not the same. And so, but we have not in any shape or form allowed the following. I am raising my hand. My name is Rick. I am a wildly nurturing guy. I am not an alpha killer professionally either in employee, nor in in entrepreneurship. I believe in this relationship with Susan that I can nurture and destroy the raising of these three children, 24/7, so that they go on to have incredible lives and things of that nature. And that is fulfillment for me. When that dude raises his hand, every dude in here, judges subconsciously or consciously. Saying, "you're not good enough" and that's fucked up and I am passionate in the same way that I find things that I latch onto that are not being talked about. I am passionate to try to start this conversation, cause I hear it nowhere, of giving permission for every man out there who is desperately interested in being a stay-at-home dad because they believe that they can crush that incredible task.
Beav: That is literally almost the exact mission statement of our company and why we have a diaper bag company geared towards that. To get them more involved because it's not just mom's job to be a parent. That's such a big thing. Right? The whole reason the brand exists is because I was having another daughter that I knew, I was like, crap, fuck, I got to carry that purple bag again. And it takes a little bit of that enthusiasm down of doing some of those parenting things. Early, I'm talking about changing diapers, things like that. But that's not really parenting. That's taking care of your child.
Gary V: But know what I appreciate, and I apologize. Go ahead. Finish your thought.
Beav: But early on like that starts a different mindset. Our product allows, gives dads, especially, a different level of enthusiasm to be a parent than they would have otherwise.
Gary V: And what I love about you is what my last statement is the atomic bomb and we are not going from where we are right now to this Nirvana that I've just made up tomorrow. And what you are doing is actually.
Gary V: Correct. One piece at a time, but this is the comfort. It makes 100% intuitive. One man's intuitive sense that the ratio of stay-at-home mom and stay-at-home dad, should be 50/50. Mainly because I can think of 30 relationships I know right now where the people are reversed and the stay-at-home mom is the actual fucking alpha and financial strength of the relationship. And the man is actually the nurturing human EQ strength and just social norms are making them both miserable. And I believe that women have done a much better job in progressing the case of being in the workplace, being the alpha. And that guys have done nothing, fucking almost very little.
Beav: They sit back and watch it happen and then judge it.
Gary V: No, no, they're sitting there knowing. Right now somebody is listening to this podcast and he knows in his soul that he should be at home raising the kids cause he would do it better and that his wife should be fucking working, cause she would do it better than him. And he does not have the courage, nor have we ... Listen. Everything's predicated on stigma. Stigma is the fucking worst. Stigma is alcoholism, abuse, fucking everything, depression, all of that mental health. All of it is stigma and we need to attack this one and stop. Like I'm doing this rant right now because I'm sure my team, I'm watching their body to cut this up, but for the listener of this, especially if you're listening to this, based on what your business does, there's somebody who's on the five yard line and this little rant is literally going to make him, right now at 11:13 in the in the morning, get up out of his cubicle, get in his car, drive home, and have a real conversation with his wife. And they're both going to be fucking pumped.
But this takes, this takes guys giving daps to guys when they make that move, not doing the jokes that we all as guys know we would make about our boy who had the courage to stand up and do this. We're going to judge that you weren't good enough on the field. You aren't good enough on the combat field. You're not strong enough. You're not. That's fucking wrong. It's being self-aware and trying to achieve happiness is the ultimate fucking male strength.
Beav: I don't disagree with that at all.
Alex: I think its the reason your kids pick up on that.
Gary V: In the extreme version that I'm telling you, which is very binary and obviously everybody's 60% of this and 40, but in that extreme version, the kids are going to win more. They're going to have somebody who debt, like do you know how much pain I see how many DMS I get from stay at home moms who, who are upset or not happy cause they want to go kill? I'm like, "I fucking get it Susan.". Because if I couldn't go kill, I'd be sad. Fuck.
Beav: So, happiness. You talked about how what we're doing is building things piece by piece and that's a lot of what I feel like you've been into recently. More recently than not with talking about parenting. Getting into younger demographics of an audience for Gary V and preaching your foundational things, happiness, optimism, positivity, empathy, all these things. Penetrating that to a younger audience earlier on with the cartoon with TikTok, with all these other.
Gary V: That is true.
Beav: And you're getting into them and the younger generation.
Gary V: Yup, I sure am.
Beav: To try to, because I know that you're, one of your goals, like you have several different goals. One of them to be to to buy the New York Jets. Right?
Gary V: That's correct.
Beav: That's like game your playing as a goal. That's fun for you.
Gary V: Yes.
Beav: But as a legacy piece for your life to be an impact on the world, to make the world a better, happier, kinder place.
Gary V: There have been multiple times that people have told me that they decided to not take their life because of my content. Now, I struggle believing that I'm just being very careful right now when I see it. The way I react to that is I don't fully believe it. Maybe because it's too heavy for me to accept. Maybe cause I think people throw around words sometimes a little loose. However, when I die and I walk up to heaven, I'm like, "Yo, what's good God?" , and she or he says to me, or it says to me, "39. Thirty-nine people on earth actually did it.". If that number was one, that means more to me than if I buy the New York Jets by a billion. The chase, the Jets is my passion.
Beav: That's the game.
Gary V: I love this game. And by the way, the vanity, the selfish part of me, I pull off that fairytale. It's going to be a fucking party
Beav: My favorite line from you is if you can't, how you're going to crowd source it.
Gary V: Just think about how early it is in my life. Probably a good 20 minimum years away from actually even being in the position or the timing to be able to do it. Just genuinely think about me, where I am right now, at the scale that I'm at now, another 20 years of hardcore propaganda around this mission. Just imagine what happens when it happens. Like, I think it is the singular news events for like 24 hours.
Beav: That's going to be wild.
Gary V: There's going to be so much in the system at that point, most likely 50 to a hundred million Americans will know it to be true that there's this person by the name of Gary Vaynerchuk who wants to buy the Jets. And when that comes across, whenever the Twitter or the AP or the ESPN or the newswire of the day is, people will be like, "Fuck.".
Beav: Holy shit.
Gary V: And for me, yes, there's that whole, I told you so, which I love to drop double nickels on the crowd, but I think it becomes a fucking fairy tale. I think it becomes something that everybody can latch onto and say if he was able to do that, my micro dream of owning a second home or starting this school.
Beav: Well there's so many small things.
Gary V: Cause it's so big and it started so early. I've had an enormous amount of people come to me saying that when they first heard it on my wine show in 2009 they laughed at me. They're like, you're in a liquor store in a fucking dungeon. Where in the fuck are you? Like, and they come up to me down like, maybe you will do this.
Beav: You've said it before and this is a lot of what I preach in my personal content to you, but if anybody that looked like you has ever made it right, it gives a lot. It's the same thing.
Gary V: Jay-Z should inspire so many. Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, should inspire so many.
Beav: And that's what I'm trying to do on my personal site is inspire people.
Gary V: If Oprah can do it.
Beav: I feel like I'm still in a relatable place in our business where we're not so big that people think there's no way I could ever do that. Do you find that trouble with yourself at the scale that you're at? That people are like, I'll just never get there because it's so big now, but I feel like I'm in a place where ...
Gary V: You know I'm not crippled by that, mainly because I believe that to be true for 98% of people. I think that's the answer that 98% of people say. So I'm like actually defaulted thinking that's what everybody thinks. So I spent no time on that. It's back to my, don't convince anybody. I'm like, going to just act.
Beav: Just show.
Gary V: I'm just going to act and then it's going to be a ripple effect. Do know how many people have emailed me in the last, and when I say email, DM, in the last a hundred days that have said to me, "I cannot believe how many followers I have on TikTok after seven years of going hard on YouTube and Instagram, within 31 days, I have a bigger audience, more impactful on my happiness or my business results on TikTok. Thank you. So I'm just going to fucking put the blueprint out for free. I'm putting out the whole fucking game. The map, the fucking key, the blueprint. What do you want to call it? The crystal ball? Call it whatever the fuck you want. I'm putting down for 0.00 cents and then I'm going to let the cards play out. I can't worry about if I'm going to get you to get to do it.
I'm just going to pressure you in perpetuity to put it in your fucking face that it can be done. Here are the fucking maps. Here's the fucking blueprint, and I'm just going to wait for person on person on person every day.
Can't believe I just went on Facebook yesterday. Just want to visible board place may know hundreds of bucks. I can't believe it. But listen, Gary, say this for 18 months, I finally did it. Wow. TikTok. LinkedIn. Like I'm going to put out free game for the rest of my fucking life. And when it's all over, a lot of fucking people can do something about it, which is why everyone's coming to my funeral and I'll be really, really mad if you don't come right. Dustin. Dustin, I'm going to be real mad at you, specifically.
All right. I got to get the fuck out of here. What do you got? Go. Let's go. Speed round as fuck. Two minutes.
Beav: Do your parents understand what you're trying to accomplish?
Gary V: Yes.
Beav: I'm sorry, your kids understand what you're trying to accomplish?
Gary V: No.
Beav: No clue?
Gary V: They're ten and seven. That's early. Too much, too heavy,
Gary V: No, absolutely not.
Beav: Dad goes to work, dad comes home.
Gary V: They're not. They know crazy shit's going on fucking we can't be in public without weird shit going on.
Gary V: But they don't really know. Ninety-nine percent of people don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
Gary V: They think that I'm fucking money hungry to buy the Jets. 99.999% of people don't know what the fuck I'm doing. How the fuck are my kids going to know?
Beav: Got it.
Alex: Quick little tidbits for a first time parent advice.
Gary V: Self-esteem will solve everything. Be careful of turning into delusion. That's where accountability matters.
Beav: Accountability. Real quick, last one, you've talked about how you were previously, and I know you're working it, creating a lot of entitlement within your company, in the organization, do you struggle with that at home?
Gary V: Of course, I failed at that because I'm trying to, but what's awesome about me is I talk about it out loud. The thing I'm trying to make everybody at home not do with their kids. I did with VaynerMedia. That's what you do when you're kind and you love something. What the fuck do you think happens. You have to be careful.
Gary V: And I fucking had to fire a bunch of people too and that, and everyone's like, what the fuck? And by the way, right now, somebody listening has been spoiling their kids and they're 19 and 18 and they spoil them their whole life and they have to cut them off completely right now. And what do you think those kids are going to do? They're going to act like crack heads. You're taking them off the drug of money and entitlement. But if they don't do it, they're going to be 31 and you're going to be quietly slipping them money because you're going to be subsidizing their life. And it's just fucked up.
Guys, if you're 30 years old and you take money from your parents, you fucking are losing. And I don't mean I'm judging you because you're not capable. You have a subconscious framework of thinking you can't. I'm not judging you because momma's paying for you and your loser. I'm judging you because I know what the action of taking money from your parents and your thirties means, which is you now believe you are not capable and you need that money to impress people. You're trying to keep up with the Joneses in your neighborhood where you and your husband or you and your wife aren't making as much as everybody else. So you need some subsidization which becomes credit card fucking debt, which becomes mommy and daddy if they're capable because you need a Mercedes because everybody else has. Drive your fucking Honda, dick.
You don't need to stay in the fucking Ritz Carlton. The holiday Inn is just fucking fine. Why? Because Susan's going to make fun of you on the parenting board on Facebook. What the fuck are we doing out here? High school ends at 18, people are taking it till they're 81.
Beav: The end.
Gary V: The end.
Beav: Guys, Gary, thank you so much. I really appreciate it guys. Thanks for listening. Make sure you subscribe so you get a watch the future podcasts from here. Gary, tell them where they can find it real quick.
Gary V: Gary-V-E-E everywhere.
Beav: Thanks. Peace.
Gary V: That was awfully good.
Caleb: That was really good.
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