Looking for a great St. Patrick’s Day joke?

Well, you’re out of luck. These are all terrible. But since they’re still better than doing whatever you’re supposed to be doing right now, enjoy reading! And hey, maybe after a pint or two they’ll seem a funnier. We sure hope so, at least!

How do you know if a leprechaun is having fun?

He’s Dublin over with laughter!

Why shouldn’t you iron a 4-leaf clover?

You might press your luck!

What do you call Dwayne Johnson’s stunt double?

A Sham-Rock!

Why couldn’t the leprechaun pay his bar tab?
He came up a little short!

What do you call a dishonest Irishman?

A lepre-con!

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? 

Rick O’Shea!

Why is there no such thing as an Irish lawyer?
None of them could get past the bar!

Why do the Irish hate puns?

They find them O’ffensive

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy, “I’m gonna have the day off. I’ll pretend to be drunk!” He climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down, and begins shouting at the top of his lungs, “I’m a lightbulb! I’m a lightbulb!”

The foreman comes by and says, “Paddy, go home, you’re drunk!” So, Paddy packs up his things and leaves. 

When he’s gone, Murphy begins to pack up and leave as well. 

The foreman stops him. “Where do you think you’re going?”, he asks.

Murphy looks up surprised. “Well, you can’t expect a man to work in the dark!”


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